On today's episode, Ellie is joined by Board Certified Life Coach Sarah Berg to discuss ways to undo trauma developed around our bodies and to give you the tools you need to jumpstart your self love journey. Get ready for some healing lovelies!!
To help you get the most out of today's episode, feel free to skip around to what you feel is most relevant to you in this moment. Here's a breakdown:
Follow Sarah Berg on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sarahbrookebergco, and visit www.sarahbrookeberg.com for free downloads and to book a 1-on-1 session. Check out her podcast Goddess on the Rise as well.
Additional Resources
Framingham Study - Benefits and adverse effects of weight loss
Diet Culture is Everywhere. Here's How to Fight It
Weight Bias Is a Problem in Healthcare. Here's What Doctors Can Do
Help us celebrate big people doing big things! Nominate someone here today to be featured on our Instagram.
Follow @BigGirlBesties on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter for encouragement and updates. If you're looking for other ways to support BGB, please leave a review about today's episode or donate here.
Follow your Host @EllieMariyo on Instagram and TikTok if you're looking for a joy infusion.
Theme Music by @naypoleon. Big Girl Besties has been granted written permission to use this song. Check out more from @naypoleon here.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information on this podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Big Girl Besties makes no representation and assumes no responsibility for the accuracy of information contained on or available through this web site, and such information is subject to change without notice.
On today's episode, Ellie is joined by Board Certified Life Coach Sarah Berg to discuss ways to undo trauma developed around our bodies and to give you the tools you need to jumpstart your self love journey. Get ready for some healing lovelies!!
To help you get the most out of today's episode, feel free to skip around to what you feel is most relevant to you in this moment. Here's a breakdown:
Follow Sarah Berg on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @sarahbrookebergco, and visit www.sarahbrookeberg.com for free downloads and to book a 1-on-1 session. Check out her podcast Goddess on the Rise as well.
Additional Resources
Framingham Study - Benefits and adverse effects of weight loss
Diet Culture is Everywhere. Here's How to Fight It
Weight Bias Is a Problem in Healthcare. Here's What Doctors Can Do
Help us celebrate big people doing big things! Nominate someone here today to be featured on our Instagram.
Follow @BigGirlBesties on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter for encouragement and updates. If you're looking for other ways to support BGB, please leave a review about today's episode or donate here.
Follow your Host @EllieMariyo on Instagram and TikTok if you're looking for a joy infusion.
Theme Music by @naypoleon. Big Girl Besties has been granted written permission to use this song. Check out more from @naypoleon here.
Medical Disclaimer:
The information on this podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Big Girl Besties makes no representation and assumes no responsibility for the accuracy of information contained on or available through this web site, and such information is subject to change without notice.
A very big misconception there is that all we eat is fast food McDonald's, we eat like trash, we don't do any kind of exercise. But a lot of times when you're deep in diet culture or you've been deep in an eating disorder, those things are actually not true, and it's actually the opposite.
Speaker B 00:00:28
Welcome to the first episode of Big GIrl Besties Podcast, where we believe accepting bigger bodies is good for all bodies. I'm your host, Ellie Mariyo, and on this podcast, we do three things debunk harmful myths about the plus size experience, facilitate healing around our body and around our mind, and celebrate big people doing big things because we know representation matters. Our hope is that you walk away feeling more confident in who you are, more comfortable in your skin, and more capable to create the amazing, fulfilling life you deserve. If you like what you hear, please be sure to subscribe on today's episode. We've got Sarah Berg of Sarah Brooke Berg company. Sarah is a board certified life coach, ru, veda practitioner, nurse, and she holds board certifications in seven different healing modalities. She helps women reclaim the body that is theirs and a life where they can come out on top. Sarah became passionate about the plus size experience when she started to realize just how toxic diet culture was and the lack of representation in the plus size health space. She focuses on helping plus size women deal with mental health and physical wellness and on varying topics like people pleasing boundaries, feeling emotions properly, and wellness for the individual. Sarah, we're so excited to have you on the podcast today. Welcome, welcome. How are you doing today?
Speaker A 00:01:58
Yes, I'm so excited to be here. I'm doing so great. Long time coming, so I'm happy, so happy for you.
Speaker B 00:02:05
Oh, thank you. Okay, for Backstory, Sarah and I, we were on a mental health panel. It was hosted by Marie Protois. Yes. Oh, my gosh. It's a new year. Yes. Last year. And I've been talking to her about this podcast forever. I've worked with Sarah, actually, to just deal with my own issues. So we are going to go over some good stuff today. And if you're looking for, I would say, like, that New Year healing.
Speaker B 00:02:28
Right.
Speaker B 00:02:29
Forget that New Year feeling with the resolution this and that. You want that New Year healing. Yeah. I think that's what we're going to help our listeners do today. And I'm so excited. Okay, Sarah, tell me, what is something like just to kind of start out, because it is the new year. We know it's that time of year with all the diet ads and the weight loss pills. What are you noticing?
Speaker A 00:02:57
Yeah, well, honestly, for me, what I'm noticing is nothing, because for once in my life, I finally made me feel like shit. That was like toxic diet ads. I have gotten off my feed, off my tiktoks, and so I just don't subscribe to that anymore. So I feel great. I feel so good because I feel like once you have the knowledge of knowing what diet culture can do to you, how new year's resolutions work and how that all kind of comes together, you can really facilitate a better social media experience to kind of drown out the loudness that can be in the culture in the New year's resolutions. So, honestly, for me, I'm not noticing any of it. But I do remember the days where it would be making me feel so lost, and I needed to be a part of some sort of diet or something since I was a bigger girl.
Speaker B 00:04:00
Right.
Speaker A 00:04:01
I needed to be healthy and just not quite understanding what that actually means for me.
Speaker B 00:04:07
I think that's, like, the biggest challenge with the New Year wait, let me start. Here one. I love it, right? You're like, I'm feeling good because I'm not seeing all of this giant ads and this and that, because you really can curate your feet on social media. You want to follow people who you actually are encouraging you. You want to interact with people who are encouraging you. So, I mean, that's something that has been helpful with me this year as well. Like seeing your post also seeing other different pluses influencers post test holiday, I think how do you say her name? Jamie Karama, I think is how you say her name, but seeing all of their different posts as well. Just talking about the beginning of the year, like, don't let it fool you.
Speaker B 00:04:58
Right?
Speaker A 00:04:58
Absolutely.
Speaker B 00:05:00
Earlier this year, I made a post about 23 things we're not doing in 2023, one of which was, we are not dieting. Like, no more dieting. It's more about a better relationship with food, better relationship with your body. And I talk about how, you know, as someone who was a lifelong member of the Yoyo Dieters Club for the better part of 15 years, don't believe the hype, because that's all it is. When they do these commercials, there's always one type of body that is acceptable. There's one type of body that's seen as healthy. And I feel like we're so just concerned with the appearance of health rather than actual health. And that's why I love so much what you do.
Speaker A 00:05:42
Absolutely. Yeah. And as we kind of learn more, we're realizing that that's actually not even what health is.
Speaker B 00:05:51
Right.
Speaker A 00:05:52
I was on TikTok the other day, and there was this girl, and she's like she's thin, and she was like, I'm trying to gain weight. So she's showing all these ways that she's gaining weight.
Speaker B 00:06:04
Right.
Speaker A 00:06:04
And we're talking, like she's eating, like, six Oreos. She's making a foam on top of her coffee that's like powdered sugar and Oreos and heavy whipping cream and just, like, all these things. And I don't see anything wrong with that, do you? But if a plus size person was doing what I eat in my day and they were eating that, they would immediately be attacked for like, oh, you're not eating healthy. But this girl was like, oh my God, I love the comments were so different. They were like, I love those oreos. I love that, I love this. Oh my gosh, look at you go. Just so much, like, cheering her on. But if a plus size woman would do that, it would be more of like an attack mode. And it just goes to show you, people really don't understand what health actually looks like, right? And when we get like these kind of haters online just showing up in our bodies, just showing up, like, say I wear a cute outfit and real immediately get attacked, like, how dare you promote obesity? How dare you not want to get healthy?
Speaker B 00:07:05
It's not promoting obesity. Can we kill it now? Sarah oh my gosh.
Speaker A 00:07:12
It's just kind of like it cracks me up because it's like, okay, that doesn't even make sense. You don't even know what health is, right? Like, if we're saying these things, we need to understand what does health look like? Well, it looks like me and you and everybody else. It doesn't have an actual look. It's a feeling right within. Do you feel good?
Speaker B 00:07:37
Yes. And I also think and it's something we can't measure. Yeah, it's something we can't measure. I think if you have like a doctor who you're close with, when I think about health, I'm like, well, I don't have any health conditions, so, ergo, I'm healthy. You know what I mean? There's nothing in the numbers. But then you're also making me think about does that mean, like, am I discriminating against people who have conditions? My brother, he has diabetes, okay? He was super athlete, played middle school, high school, college basketball, works out all the time, eats well, but he got diabetes. And so it's like, well, just because he has diabetes doesn't mean that he's not healthy. Do you know what I'm saying? I'm wondering if I'm like, oh, the fact that I don't have any conditions means that I'm healthy. But if you have conditions, then you're not healthy. So I want to make sure I'm not saying that.
Speaker A 00:08:36
Yeah, I think that's a really beautiful self realization there. But I think, again, it kind of breaks it down to that feeling. What does health feel like for you?
Speaker B 00:08:51
Right?
Speaker A 00:08:51
So if you're waking up in the morning and you're having like, stiffness and you're feeling inflamed, maybe that's time to kind of do some internal work and talk to yourself, like, okay, where am I going wrong here? Or where am I noticing these things? Why does it look this way? And maybe it is because you have an underlying condition which does not make you unhealthy, but rather maybe you could do some things to kind of change that narrative a little bit more, you know what I'm saying? So maybe adding in some might feel good for you, maybe drinking some more water might feel good for you. Now, those are very obviously basic things.
Speaker B 00:09:27
Right.
Speaker A 00:09:28
But I don't think that having a condition makes you healthy or unhealthy. I think it's your habits and your mindset and how you feel internally. Right. I feel like lab work is a very small part of that, but there's multiple others that equal healthy or unhealthy. You know what I mean?
Speaker B 00:09:51
I do. This is where the body neutrality versus body positivity takes, like, the lead, I would say. So body positivity, it was created for plus size people, but then we got excluded from it. Right. It started to be more so about the latest diet trends where you would see, like, it was basically like, fitspo or like fitness inspo taking over body positivity. But with body neutrality, the whole focus is on what your body can do for you as opposed to how it appears.
Speaker B 00:10:24
Right.
Speaker B 00:10:24
So to your point about are you waking up and you're in pain? Are you feeling like sluggish? Like, let's talk about ways to help your body work better for you.
Speaker A 00:10:35
Absolutely. And what's beautiful about that is that it does not look like dieting.
Speaker B 00:10:40
Right.
Speaker A 00:10:41
So there's plenty of things.
Speaker B 00:10:44
That'Ll make.
Speaker A 00:10:45
You feel good and healthy, but without dieting. In fact, that's probably one of the last things that would make you feel good and help you become healthy. So one of the things that I loved that you brought up about the body neutrality is one of the first places you start when you become starting to learn how to love your body.
Speaker B 00:11:06
Right.
Speaker A 00:11:07
So you can't just jump in from hating your body to straight to loving your body.
Speaker B 00:11:11
Right.
Speaker A 00:11:11
So you have to move into that neutral place and sit there for a little bit and recognize, what does that look like for me, before we can even move into the space of, wow, I actually accept myself, and wow, I actually love myself. So as much as the body positivity waste has been taken over, I feel like the body neutrality space is a great space for us to exist in, so that way we can learn what that looks like before we move into that abundance of self love.
Speaker B 00:11:46
Right.
Speaker A 00:11:47
It's still ours.
Speaker B 00:11:49
It's still something that we have. Yes, that's what I think about it. I love that. No, but I love that, though, because I think when people get online and they see someone like me and you, I mean, honestly, where we're living unapologetically, we're showing off. I'm not saying that showing off your body means that you're confident in your body, but I enjoy showing off my body. I enjoy wearing lingerie that makes me feel confident and beautiful. But I think when people see that, they're like, man, I want to be that way. And they think that they have to start doing all of these things to get there. They think they have to start immediately loving themselves. Like, they just wake up one morning, you're like, I love myself. Right? But I think it's really like, a daily decision that you make. I don't think that loving your body, loving yourself, is something that you decide once, and then you wipe my hands, it's done. I finished it. I have achieved self love, but I think it's something that you have to choose every single day.
Speaker A 00:12:57
No? Absolutely. I think you're definitely a spot on with that. And I think, too, with our body love journeys, a lot of it looks like kind of unpacking, right. Things that we've been told about ourselves, our own beliefs, childhood trauma, what people have told us about ourselves, like, the stories that we tell ourselves unpacking whether or not they're true, and just really undoing things that have been a part of our lives or a part of our structure for a long time. Does that make sense?
Speaker B 00:13:29
Absolutely. I agree with you so much on that, because there's so much like, fat phobia is so ingrained in our society that there's so much internalized fat phobia. And that keeps you until you deal with that, that keeps you from loving yourself.
Speaker A 00:13:48
Absolutely. And I notice a lot of times when I talk to my clients, I think we all like to think that we're not fatphobic, especially when we're in the plus size world. But unfortunately, if we've dealt with things like diet culture, if we dealt with childhood trauma or anyone telling us certain beliefs about our bodies, then more than likely we are fat phobic or we have had fat phobia at some point in our lives. And so some of the things that I kind of teach a lot of my clients to kind of work through is when you look at another woman, I want you to really see her, and I want you to notice what thoughts come up. And when you have those thoughts, I want you to just write them down or remember them for a second. And then we kind of process some of those. Because oftentimes when we have these thoughts about other women or their people, they're thoughts that we've had about ourselves.
Speaker B 00:14:41
Right?
Speaker A 00:14:41
And they're very internalized, but we're judging someone else for something that we don't like about ourselves.
Speaker B 00:14:50
Right.
Speaker A 00:14:51
So if you are judging another woman, you still have more internal work to do, and I think that that's okay. That's normal, especially when you're self aware. It doesn't mean that we are bad people. It just means that we have a little bit more inner work that we need to do there. Until we can stand in front of another female or anyone, really, and be able to just look at them without any type of judgment, then we know we need to just keep doing that work.
Speaker B 00:15:19
Yes. Sarah, you just hit on something that I think is I mean, this is the whole reason that trolling is the thing, literally. So, again, one of my 23 things, we're not doing 22, three. This is I'm so excited that we're talking about these, is that we're not internalizing other people's insecurities. And so, yes, I have just come to the conclusion that the reason that you have such a problem with me being online, existing in my body, being happy with my life, in the body that I have, is because you are not happy with your life. You are not happy with your body. Right. And so you're putting your unhappiness on me.
Speaker B 00:16:02
Right.
Speaker B 00:16:02
And I'm not going to take that. I'm going to put it like, you can keep it. You can keep it.
Speaker A 00:16:08
I love it. Yeah. And that's kind of like where that inner work comes in, right? Okay, so this person left a comment. Now what am I going to do about it? What does that look like for me? Am I going to make this mean something? Or am I just going to recognize, like, wow, they got some inner work they need to do?
Speaker B 00:16:28
Yeah.
Speaker A 00:16:30
And they're probably not even at a point where they're self aware of that, right. Oftentimes what I think of when I get a lot of hate, it comes from fake profiles and all I can think about is, like, this teenage boy or a younger white male, to be honest, on his freaking phone.
Speaker B 00:16:49
Right?
Speaker A 00:16:49
And that's what a lot of these profiles are. And they are making these comments about my body because they have heard their mother make comments about their body.
Speaker B 00:17:02
Right.
Speaker A 00:17:02
So, like, these boys have seen diet culture and assume that that is what is healthy.
Speaker B 00:17:10
Right.
Speaker A 00:17:10
And how dare a woman be so confident without wanting to change her body? Because they see their moms do that. They see their moms manipulate their bodies all the time going on the next fad diet. And that equals health.
Speaker B 00:17:23
Right.
Speaker A 00:17:23
Because that's what we think thinness equals health when we know that that is not the truth.
Speaker B 00:17:28
That is not true. Right. The whole thickness equals health is the reason why I say we are so much more focused on the appearance of health than actual health. And that's why, again, I go back to the whole promoting obesity is not a real thing. Like, a lot of the plus size influencer, the pluses people you see online, they are focused on health. But I think what's interesting is when we talk about health on a regular basis, we're always talking about physical health. And we always have that one idea, okay, physical health looks like thinness, but we never talk about mental health. And so you can't tell me that you care about my health if you're going to leave half the equation out of it. Whereas with plus size influencers, we are focused on full scale, comprehensive, holistic health.
Speaker A 00:18:17
I hit it on the head there. And I think one of the important things to recognize is that health always comes in a different shape in size, and we're using measurements like BMI.
Speaker B 00:18:29
Right.
Speaker A 00:18:30
And we know that BMI is rooted in racism. It has no actual science behind it, and it does not take into account a lot of things that are going on with your body, like muscle, bone structure, anything like that.
Speaker B 00:18:46
Right.
Speaker A 00:18:48
And we have to recognize as well that just because there is added weight, it does not actually equate fat. It can equate things like inflammation, water retention.
Speaker B 00:18:59
Right.
Speaker A 00:19:00
We don't know what that weight looks like. To sit there and say, oh, they're fat. Oh, that means that automatically they have heart issues or high cholesterol or their eating is remotely bad.
Speaker B 00:19:12
Right.
Speaker A 00:19:13
So those are things that we kind of need to watch. And I don't like to label things like eating bad or good. I'm talking about what other people think.
Speaker B 00:19:24
Right.
Speaker A 00:19:25
So I think eating is eating, right? And we can have fun foods. We can have nutrient dense foods, we can have foods that cause harm. Sure. But if it's something that is fun, we can play around with that.
Speaker B 00:19:40
Right.
Speaker A 00:19:41
So just knowing, like, that kind of verbiage can be a little bit dangerous as well. I just want to make sure that people know that a little bit as I'm talking about it. I'm talking about what people say instead of what exactly. Instead of what we should be talking about.
Speaker B 00:19:55
Yeah. What they say and how this is so crazy that you're bringing this up. I think that one thing I always say is words matter. Right. The words that you tell yourself, the words that you use towards people that you care about, words matter. They're so important. And so, yes, we are talking about what other people say, so that, you know, here's what you should be saying instead.
Speaker A 00:20:20
Absolutely, yes.
Speaker B 00:20:24
So, Sarah, I wanted to talk a little bit about because I reached out to you a few months ago.
Speaker A 00:20:32
Yes.
Speaker B 00:20:32
Because I was experiencing a lot of trolling, and it's like, I would tell myself these things like, oh, it's just a fake profile, it doesn't matter, this and that. But it really started to get to me in that moment. I think I had one video that got, like, over 100,000 views on Instagram or something like that, and it was like 50, 60% negative comments, and that video really got to me with those comments, and I was just like, I told you. For me, it was like, how dare you disrespect me, comfort me when you don't know me, judge me. So that was, like, really bothering me, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to reach out to Sarah. Like, I need help. I just want to go over, like, I want you to tell our listeners what you told me.
Speaker A 00:21:22
Honestly, I might miss a couple of things, but I think I know it pretty verbatim because you're not alone, right? You're not alone. In that these are things that I've had to tell myself to. And the minute I get a real going viral on Instagram, I kind of have to brace myself and bring in some safety into my nervous system because I pretty much know where it's going, right? They can't handle a plus size woman being confident in her body. First of all, let's just throw it out. But then second of all, the hate that comes, it can be very triggering and jarring, especially when you want your message to be heard, right? And then you get these comments. So a couple of things here I know I had told you. One is, okay, engagement is engagement, right? Whether it is good or bad, it is engagement. So the more that they comment, even if it's negative, the more they push it out, your video out. And unfortunately, I don't think that they realize that. The more or maybe they do realize and they kind of get their kicks off, but the more that they engage in that type of content, the more they're going to see that type of content. So I don't know if they realize.
Speaker B 00:22:52
That, but it cracks me up a.
Speaker A 00:22:54
Little bit because I'm like, are you trying here or what? But anyways, engagement is engagement and all engagement is good, right? We know this on social media. All engagement is good even if it's a negative comment. So a couple of things that I always recommend doing is either you can spend the time and energy to comment back, asking yourself like, is this doing me more harm than good?
Speaker B 00:23:24
Right?
Speaker A 00:23:25
I would notice that. I would comment back and then they would comment back because they're here to argue, they're here to prove you wrong, right? So every time I would get a comment back, it would be more jarring. I would notice the feelings would rise in my nervous system like, okay, what did they say? What did they say? What did they say? And that did not feel good. So just kind of playing around with trolls and recognizing what actually feels good here. And for me, I noticed that it felt better to delete comments that were negative because honestly, they're not my people, they're not my target audience. And what I recognize, and I think I told you this as well, what do you want your target audience to see?
Speaker B 00:24:14
Right?
Speaker A 00:24:17
If you want them to see you standing up for yourself, then so be it. But also recognizing, is that okay to your nervous system? Or is it triggering you every time someone comments back, right? Or does it feel better once you delete the comment? You go about your day and maybe you reach more people and you get more positive comments, right? So just kind of like playing around here and noticing like, okay, does this feel good for me? What is it that I'm trying to achieve? Your viv's comments. Because understanding one of those things is what is it? You can't argue with stupid. And oftentimes they are stupid. Right? And that's a real thing. They just are ignorant. They don't actually have facts. They just have what they think that they know.
Speaker B 00:25:07
I think it's more than just like, don't argue it stupid. I think it's like, okay, this is a theory that I have whenever we're talking about something that has two very different perspectives. Typically, if you're online, it's very difficult on both sides for you to convince that other person of your point of view. The reason being is because online it's given us a way to kind of ignore the humanity on the other side of the screen. So you say these things to me, you comment these things on my videos because you don't see me as a person, you don't see me as someone deserving of respect, but you would never say those things to my face. So I don't know what it is about being online, but a lot of the polarizing conversations that I've had, there's actually been real change when it's been in person and usually one on one or like with a small group of people.
Speaker A 00:26:12
I could totally see that. And I think that's the biggest thing is it depends on the profile.
Speaker B 00:26:18
Right?
Speaker A 00:26:19
So in the comment, I think if you know that they're open to a conversation, that comment can look different. Absolutely. I think where I'm coming from is like a place where you can tell they are straight up trolls. They're trying to get a rise out of you. They're not there to have a conversation. They're there to hurt you and harm you. And that's it.
Speaker B 00:26:41
Right.
Speaker A 00:26:41
They're not open to any other dialogue but where you're coming from. I couldn't agree more. And I think you're right with the online space, removing that humanity, and it also has allowed us to hide behind a screen.
Speaker B 00:26:55
Right.
Speaker A 00:26:56
People get really brave when they don't have to show their face, when they don't have to back up their words. It's so easy to delete and block, whereas that looks a lot different in real life. Right. So a moment, I've had a lot of comments I think you've probably had. No one would ever, ever say that to me in real life.
Speaker B 00:27:20
They would never dare.
Speaker A 00:27:22
Yes. Their face might say it. You might be able to see a look on their face. As far as being brave, it's a lot easier to be brave when you're hiding behind a screen, right? It is, yeah.
Speaker B 00:27:37
It would never come out of their mouth in person, though.
Speaker A 00:27:42
Absolutely not.
Speaker B 00:27:44
Okay, I'm sorry. Tell me the okay, I want to hear the second thing. What's the second thing you tell your clients?
Speaker A 00:27:50
I remember telling you you're doing all the right things. The biggest thing is always bringing that safety in. So truly leaning into why are you showing up online?
Speaker B 00:28:02
Right?
Speaker A 00:28:02
So lean into the truth. And once you're grounded. Just kind of like feeling into those comments and when I talk about being grounded, right, so taking those deep belly breaths, having that audible exhale and realize what you're I love that.
Speaker B 00:28:18
That was such a good exercise. I still do that.
Speaker A 00:28:21
Oh my gosh, we underestimate how amazing a deep breath can be and then really releasing those comments, right, and then acknowledging that those comments aren't coming from your target audience, right, they're not the actual truth. And then asking, why are you giving them time? Do they deserve to take away energy? And then also noticing when you post, what does your energy look like? Is it, oh my God, I can't wait to reach and touch the lives of the girl who is going to see this and think, wow, this could be me, or is the energy more like, I need to post, but I'm scared about what is going to happen when I do. As in, like, what are the trolls going to say?
Speaker B 00:29:03
Right?
Speaker A 00:29:04
So just kind of taking notice there and putting out that energy when you post. Another thing is to don't be afraid to ask your audience for support, which can look like, hey, the trolls are strong, but I know you all have my back, so if you could comment on my last reel, that would mean so much to me. And that can kind of just drown out some of the trolls. But then also understanding that when they come online and they kind of start in before you're even done reading the comment, you can click the block button, right? There's no sense of arguing with people who truly have no idea what the truth is. And this will give you more room and energy to show up for the women who are cheering you on.
Speaker B 00:29:50
One of my core beliefs as a person is that everyone is deserving of love and respect. No matter what you look like, no matter who you are, by virtue of being a human being, you are deserving of love and respect. So what I've kind of learned since our talk is, okay, this is my core belief that I have, but everyone's not going to think this. You're not going to be able to convince everyone Ellie life. Okay, so to your point, right, let me make sure I'm giving my energy to those people who are actually benefiting from my content. The people who I'm encouraging always think about that. Like, teenage girl who gets inspired. That was me back then. So I think about that girl. That's what I think about. That's how I make my content form. And then also I choose now. So I'll block some, I'll respond to some. If they respond, I just delete the comment because I'm like, whoa, this is not your space to talk. I would delete the comment, but some of them I respond to so that other girls can know this treatment is not okay. Like. This comment is not true. Here's the actual truth. So now I like pick and choose with things.
Speaker A 00:31:07
Absolutely.
Speaker B 00:31:07
And I'm doing much better. Yeah, I'm doing much better and dealing with the trolls, that's for sure.
Speaker A 00:31:14
That makes me so happy for you. I think that's the biggest thing is allowing some comments to come through and be like, hey, absolutely not. Like, I'm standing in my power here. And that's part of it, right. Taking your power back.
Speaker B 00:31:29
Right.
Speaker A 00:31:30
And so that way other women can see that as well and know, like, how important that is, right. That we do not tolerate this hate, this disrespect, but also at the same time making sure that you are feeling safe in showing up and allowing whatever it is to come through.
Speaker B 00:31:50
Right.
Speaker A 00:31:51
So I love that you block some comments and you delete some comments and then like, allow one or two to be there and show that you don't tolerate that hate or disrespect. And what that shows is that your space is a safe place for people to exist. So you are showing other women that they can show up in your space and leave comments and that you will have their back and that you don't tolerate anything less.
Speaker B 00:32:19
Amen. That's a beautiful way to summarize it. That's a beautiful way to summarize it.
Speaker A 00:32:25
I love it.
Speaker B 00:32:28
We did talk a little bit about body neutrality and how that's the starting point to loving your body. What would you say are three ways that people can get started with their self love, body love journey? Are there specific exercises or things that they can do to get started?
Speaker A 00:32:55
Absolutely. The first one I would say is start to curate your social media experience so that may look like especially if you spend a lot of time on social media scrolling or absorbing any type of content. So that would look like diversifying your feed to follow other women and bigger bodies. That way you can kind of start seeing this and also start unfollowing and unsubscribing from diet culture or anyone who talks about diet culture, who talks about food in a harmful way and starts subscribing to more of an add in mindset instead of a cut out mindset, if that makes sense.
Speaker B 00:33:47
What do you mean when you say adding in and cutting out?
Speaker A 00:33:49
It's kind of like changing your mindset a little bit. So instead of I'm cutting out diet soda, I'm adding in more water, I'm adding in more nutrient dense food instead of cutting out McDonald's. And you can even use this with your social media as well. If you feel nervous about unfollowing people, add in people, right? Instead of cutting out those people, add in so adding in more bigger body content, adding in more women who talk about body neutrality, food neutrality, dietitians, who are anti diet culture. So adding that content in instead of cutting out or unfollowing people, right, and eventually you'll get there, but the more and more you add in, it kind of drowns out the other pieces.
Speaker B 00:34:48
Right.
Speaker A 00:34:49
So one of my goals was to drink more water and less coffee. But I know for me, cutting out something triggers my eating disorder. So instead I'm going to add in more water. And a lot of times I find myself drinking less coffee because of that. So adding in mindset, I think is really beautiful. And then number two is talking and seeing and looking at your body, right. So this can look different for everyone, but you want to start looking at your body. So if you can't look at your body in the mirror with no clothes on, start with clothes on.
Speaker B 00:35:39
Okay.
Speaker A 00:35:40
So this is where you're going to look at your body in the mirror and just simply say things like, I see you. So you're saying this to yourself in the mirror. And I do about 5 minutes a day. Or if that feels a lot for you, just doing 5 minutes one to two times a week. So really curating this for you. So if you can stand naked in the mirror 5 minutes every day, go for it.
Speaker B 00:36:04
Yes.
Speaker A 00:36:06
If that feels too scary, then start with a minute a day in your clothes or in your PJs. And instead of jumping right into affirmations like I love myself, that's not going to feel very good if you're in a place where you can't even look at your body and you're more full of hate and shame. So start adding in things like I see you, or some things that are like the truth. You're wearing PJs. I'm looking at myself in the mirror.
Speaker B 00:36:40
Right.
Speaker A 00:36:40
So things that are true, they're neutral, they don't mean anything.
Speaker B 00:36:45
Right.
Speaker A 00:36:46
So of course there's some meaning there between I see you, Ashley, looking at yourself for the first time. But what I'm saying is it's more neutral than oh my God, I love you, saying that to yourself when it's not the truth yet.
Speaker B 00:36:58
Right.
Speaker B 00:36:58
It's not the truth to you yet.
Speaker A 00:37:00
Right, exactly.
Speaker B 00:37:02
Do you know what I mean? Because I look at bigger bodies and I'm like, your body's gorgeous.
Speaker B 00:37:07
Right.
Speaker B 00:37:07
But you may not feel that way. So it's true your body is gorgeous, but it might not be true to you yet.
Speaker A 00:37:14
Yes, exactly. And then adding in some things like touch.
Speaker B 00:37:19
Right.
Speaker A 00:37:19
So a really good way to do this is just touching yourself with lotion. So using lotion or an oil, even an oil is a great way to moisturize your skin, move around limbs. So there's lots of benefits here. But you can use an oil and start with just your arms, right? Just a light oil on your arms. Just literally touching yourself and noticing like, oh wow, my skin is moist. What else do I see? My skin has freckles. Oh, I have some arm hair. Or I notice a tattoo here. Wow, it feels like this today. Just kind of like gentle touch, gentle massage, just spending those few moments with your body, noticing her, and start talking to her like she is someone you would talk to, like your best friend.
Speaker B 00:38:13
Right.
Speaker A 00:38:13
So it's almost like we're having this experience outside of our body, but our body being with us.
Speaker B 00:38:19
Right.
Speaker A 00:38:19
So like, wow, I love how soft your skin is today. Or I notice this about you. So really, just talking to her like she's your best friend and then moving.
Speaker B 00:38:30
Into maybe this is me, Sarah.
Speaker A 00:38:37
I.
Speaker B 00:38:37
Want people to know that it might feel weird in the beginning.
Speaker A 00:38:40
Yes.
Speaker B 00:38:41
But I think I've always been like an out loud thinker. So for me, it was just, hey, I'm just thinking out loud. Literally, this morning in the bed, I was, like, laying on my side and I was like, I know you don't want to get up today because you're tired. It's been a long day. This is me out loud. But you know what? It's going to be a great day. You can do this. And I gave myself a little kiss on my shoulder.
Speaker A 00:39:10
That sounds beautiful.
Speaker B 00:39:14
But I want to share that so people know this is stuff that it really does help and it really does allow you to feel so at home in your body and to see yourself.
Speaker A 00:39:26
Absolutely. And I think it's really important to, like, we start moving into more intimate spaces, right. So this is why I say, like, your arms or even your hands to start with. And then we move into more places where maybe you've labeled them your trouble spots. So maybe that looks like, oh, I really don't like my upper arms because they hang or they have loose skin or my stomach because it's bigger, right. So that's when we start to move to those places with a little bit more love.
Speaker B 00:39:56
Right.
Speaker A 00:39:57
And that's why I always say, like, talk to your body like you're talking to your best friend. Because when you think about this, if you talk to your best friend, what are you going to tell her? Are you going to tell her that you hate her arms? No. You're going to hype her up.
Speaker B 00:40:10
Right.
Speaker A 00:40:11
So bring that energy into your body as well. So when you go to the arms, you can be like, I noticed that the skin does hang a little, but that's okay. What is that supposed to mean?
Speaker B 00:40:24
Right?
Speaker A 00:40:25
Nothing. It is what it is, and it can be neutral. It doesn't have to mean anything. So also bring in some other things. Okay. The skin is moist here. The skin is supple or the skin is soft. I feel you. I see you. I am touching you. I am here in this moment with you. Those statements can be very powerful but also very neutral. So they are the actual truth.
Speaker B 00:40:57
Right?
Speaker A 00:40:57
You're not telling a lie. I feel you, but also feeling yourself for the first time, like that can be very potent healing, right? Like very healing. So bringing some of those statements in as you move into other places of your body, that may not be your favorite places, but you're working on loving. And then I would say the third and final tip would be definitely hiring someone to help you along your body love journey. And if you can't do that, look into coaches that have free stuff available, absorb their content, and keep looking around until you find someone that you can really vibe with on all levels, right? And just notice how your mindset changes through this time. Being open and honest about your journey with yourself I feel is so important. So maybe that looks like journaling, maybe that looks like talking with a coach or even going through some free programs. I know a lot of coaches will have free programs and content and journal prompts and even just like free content, right. We show up on Instagram and TikTok all the time with content. And when you absorb that, it can really lead you into a more positive and healing space. But just know that as you kind of go through this journey, a lot of this stuff is deep rooted, right? A lot of these things, these stories that we've told ourselves started when we were younger, right. So that trauma and knowing that trauma is something that everybody experiences, right, can be kind of deep rooted into what did we hear our mothers talk about and then us absorbing that as our own thoughts. So if you were younger and you saw your mom and your grandma or your aunts or your cousins constantly diet and talk bad about their body, and a lot of times when we see our moms, we look up to our moms, we love our moms, and here they are talking bad about their body. That's automatically going to make us think, wait, she thinks her body is bad? And I look up to her and I love her and I think she's perfect. What does that mean about my body then, right? Or even little comments like, oh, I know when I was younger it was like, oh, honey, the juniors aren't going to have anything for you, so let's go into this other section or I would have to go to a certain place to buy prom dresses. And I know my family did not mean harm, but it did cause harm, right. So breaking down those things and kind of better understanding, that's why I always say kind of work with a coach, because a coach can help you dive deeper into that type of healing. But even if you're wanting to do it yourself, just kind of like journaling about that and then holding space for yourself, right? So just kind of nurturing as you're going through these thoughts, these feelings, noticing kind of what's coming up for you, and then bring safety into that moment. So whether that looks like grounding or doing some type of meditation or just even taking some deep breaths and holding your body as you kind of process those things. It can be very potent healing, potent magic. I feel like I love it.
Speaker B 00:44:17
I'm listening here, I'm thinking and I'm just like, oh, it's just so beautiful. It's about giving yourself, like you said, holding space, but also giving yourself grace, being very patient with yourself and just looking at yourself and talking to yourself like you would your best friend. I love that. I love when you said that because I would never tell my best friend girl. Ugh, like you look so added. Like I would never say that to her.
Speaker A 00:44:48
Never. But we're so quick to do that to ourselves, right? We're so quick to be like that's what I'm saying. If you have that connection with your body, you bring in that connection, it is going to be a game changer for you because you're never ever going to talk to yourself the same way.
Speaker B 00:45:08
So you are an ARU veda practitioner. I had never heard of that term until I met you. Can you kind of explain what that term means?
Speaker A 00:45:17
Absolutely. So Ayurveda is the science of life. So it is a Sanskrit word. It is rooted in India and it is the most ancient medicine that we know of. So it was developed over 5000 years ago with the beliefs. It's very simple but also very timeless wisdom. So it's very complex but also very simple. It's just a basic belief that we move through life with a balance of mental and physical well being along with being in nature and kind of moving with nature and how nature moves. So it's very big on the seasons, it's very big on balance, on listening to your body. And one of the things that I absolutely loved about it is it's a very holistic practice, but it is an individualized approach, which for me I believe that is so huge. And that's why I got into ayurveda too many of holistic coaches practices. It's a one size fits all. And I feel like that can be very tricky and scary because we are all different, right?
Speaker B 00:46:44
I'm unique, I'm male. Jason.
Speaker A 00:46:49
I love that. So Ayurveda believes that everybody's constitution, like how they're made up is different. So that means because of that, we're all going to have different ways that we should eat, different ways that we should work out, different ways that we should feel about things, act. And it's a balance of the five different elements as well. So like water, air, earth, ether space. So it's just a really beautiful medicine that everybody can use. It's not something that you can only have if you are wealthy, which I find a lot in the holistic space as well. I feel like in the holistic space it's very much like buy all of these supplements, only eat nutrient dense food, only do this, make sure you're doing sauna, lymphatic and all these other things that it just gets very loud. And if you don't have money, you can't do it. And that's not what Ayurveda is about. Ayurveda is about using what you have available to you and it's very cost effective. So lots of things that you can add into your lifestyle that is completely free. You already have stuff at home to do it. So I absolutely love that about ayurveda It is for everybody. Does that answer your question?
Speaker B 00:48:10
It does. I had no idea that's what it was and I knew I wasn't alone. That's why I have the courage to ask these questions, Sarah, because I know I'm not alone.
Speaker A 00:48:23
So I love that. Ayurveda, it sounds like something that you don't know, but it's actually in everyday life. So you would be surprised what actually stems from Ayurveda. So things like Lymphatic drainage, I'm sure you've probably heard of that. The people that do the rollers on their face, the Gushaw tools on their face that stemmed from Ayurveda. Oil pulling, stemmed from ayurveda tongue scraping. Tongue scraping is really big on TikTok right now. That stemmed from ayurveda Herbs, spices, all of that stemmed from Ayurveda as well. They were the first ones in the aromatherapy space and they were the first ones to recognize that there is a connection between the gut and the brain. And they were the first ones to recognize that our gut is our second brain. So a lot of things actually stem from Ayurveda, we just never knew about it. Because it's in Sanskrit.
Speaker B 00:49:24
It's in Sanskrit and it's also like super commercialized sometimes in the US. Right to your point about the holistic, other holistic systems where you've got to take all these supplements and you've got to buy this system and pay this much monthly, that framing of it makes it difficult for everyday people to benefit from it.
Speaker A 00:49:48
Absolutely, and that's where we kind of get into a little bit of cultural appropriation, just like recognizing like, where did this actually come from and where are we taking it from? And I think that's what makes Ayurveda so beautiful and unique as well is that it's all about combining to gather instead of just taking one pieces that fit your agenda.
Speaker B 00:50:11
Basically.
Speaker B 00:50:13
Yeah, the oil pooling, that one got me because I've only just my brother's girlfriend. She told me literally, like, a couple of months ago about oil pooling. And that was my first time understanding hearing about that, because I wasn't aware that there are bacteria and things in your saliva that you need to swallow when you swallow your food. And if you use mouthwash, it kills that so that can mess up your digestion. I had no idea, but this is.
Speaker A 00:50:44
Yeah, our mouth is like our first step of digestion. So all digestion starts in the mouth. So that's one of the things that Irvina teaches is the oil pulling, the tongue scraping, the chewing your food nice and slow in a quiet environment, so that way you're settled as you digest your food. So important. And those are things you can do it for free. The tongue scraper you can find for like $4. Oil pulling. I bet everybody has coconut oil at home. If not, it's pretty inexpensive for a big jar. And then chewing your food easily and gently in a settled environment. A lot of us can do that for the most part. So just some things to kind of recognize that it's very accessible, which I think is so important when we talk about health care.
Speaker B 00:51:38
Absolutely, yes. I access to health care.
Speaker A 00:51:44
Oh, my gosh.
Speaker B 00:51:46
Don't get me started. I know. That's a whole other topic.
Speaker A 00:51:49
We'll be here all day.
Speaker B 00:51:50
We will be here all day. And as someone who has, like, lived in other countries, where the access? They have universal healthcare. I got a bone to pick with that.
Speaker A 00:52:03
I love it.
Speaker B 00:52:06
I kind of want to ask you. Well, yeah, I want to know this. So what are some misconceptions people have about life coaches? Are there any? I don't know. Maybe there's none.
Speaker A 00:52:20
You know what? I think that the biggest misconception is that we have our lives together.
Speaker B 00:52:26
Yeah.
Speaker A 00:52:27
And I think that's so far, this is from the truth, right. Because what happens is that people will put therapist, life coaches on this pedestal, and that's never what it's about, right? So a life coach just has different tools that can help take you through life and help support you in your healing journey, whatever that looks like, right. But oftentimes the reason why we are life coaches is because at least what I've noticed is that we've gone through our own stuff, and we were tired of I say I should speak for myself here, so let me speak for myself. For me, I was tired of going through and not ever getting the answers that I needed, right, or not getting the support I needed. So I wanted to become that person for myself, and I did that, and then I helped other people. But I think that it's a very human experience that you're always going to have something to continue on with, right. Always going through our own healing and our own journey you're never done because we're human, we're going through life.
Speaker B 00:53:53
Because I was thinking, too, I was like, what are the misconceptions? And then as soon as you said, oh, that we have our left hand, I was like, yeah, that is how I think about life coaches.
Speaker A 00:54:04
Yeah. And that's the thing. I have my own life coach, and I had always put her on a pedestal, and it's just not where she belongs because she belongs next to me. And what I like to tell my clients is that I'm following your lead. You tell me what you need, and we go through that together. I'm holding your hand and oftentimes they're like, well, I don't know what I need. Okay, well, what would happen if you did know? What would that look like?
Speaker B 00:54:36
Right.
Speaker A 00:54:37
So I'm just helping you lead the conversation, lead the healing. So I like to think of it as like we're in a car together and you're the driver and you're going to tell me where you want to go. And I might be like, oh, maybe we could think about this path instead. And maybe you say, yeah, let's do that. Or maybe you say, actually no, I think I'm going to stick to my regular path. And then I'm still there in the passenger side helping you along that navigation and that's what it's all about. So I'm not here to tell you what to do. I'm not here to heal you. I'm here to help lead you and guide you and you heal yourself. I help facilitate that. But you're actually doing the work. I'm just holding space for you and being a place for you to kind of bounce things around with and facilitate that healing. But you're the one that's doing the work. I can't do the work for you. So I think that's the biggest misconception is that us as life coaches, we have it all together as well. When I feel like that could be further from the truth, especially if you're someone like me, a people pleaser, I'm like, I want to fix everybody else. I want to help everybody else. And then I'll focus on myself later.
Speaker B 00:56:02
Yes. Oh, my goodness. Okay. When you said that with your bio, when I was reading it, I was like, we got to talk about this because people pleasing boundaries.
Speaker A 00:56:12
Oh, girl, what is you?
Speaker B 00:56:14
It like because I've been on my boundary journey for the last couple of.
Speaker A 00:56:18
Years and that's exactly what it is. It is a journey. Oh, my.
Speaker B 00:56:24
I think the one thing that I did want to hear really about was when you talk about in your bio, the lack of representation in plus size, health space. How has it been being plus size in the health space? And what are some things you've noticed?
Speaker A 00:56:39
That's a really good question. Being share it all, Sarah.
Speaker B 00:56:43
Let it out.
Speaker A 00:56:49
Being plus size in a health space is very like, no one hears you, right. Because you're plus size. So it is very tough. And what I'm noticing is people just don't take you very seriously, which is really sad. It's very sad to think about. But the thing that keeps me going is for the women who are like, oh, wow, wait, you could be healthy in your body and that's okay. And it's like, yeah, it is okay. And you can be aiming for health. Maybe you're not 100% there yet, right. But you can keep on aiming and working towards that. For me, I like to say that it's very quiet. I'm almost like, toned down or talked over a lot. I noticed when I make reels or post or TikTok and I'm talking about these things, it is very much so like crickets, right? It does not go out or reach anyone. I could have other videos go viral. And when I'm talking about this topic that I know is so needed, it doesn't get out to people. And I think it's because I'm talking about this topic right now. If I was thin, it would probably reach everybody up.
Speaker B 00:58:18
A really good point that I've thought about a lot. It's this misconception that because I am in a plus sized body, I must be health inept like I must not know a single thing about nutrition and health and medicine. Not like I know nothing because of what my body looks like. And this is not true. Exactly.
Speaker A 00:58:42
Like, I am a nurse. I have my bachelor's degree. I have my bachelor's degree in ayurveda medicine and integrative medicine. So the knowledge is there is that people don't hear me because of what they see.
Speaker B 00:59:00
Yeah.
Speaker A 00:59:01
And it's a tough pill to swallow. But I'll tell you, I'm not going to not stop showing up because I know that my people wait.
Speaker B 00:59:09
No, please do. Sarah, I'm looking at your content all the time, so please keep it coming.
Speaker A 00:59:14
I love you.
Speaker B 00:59:15
That makes me feel so good.
Speaker A 00:59:16
Thank you. But I know the women that are out there and I know that they need help. And I think that what help looks like to them is that they think that they need to shrink their bodies. And that can be further from the truth. What we need to look at is inflammation. How are you feeling?
Speaker B 00:59:34
Right?
Speaker A 00:59:35
Because when we change our thoughts, that can change so much about our bodies. Are you drinking water?
Speaker B 00:59:42
Right.
Speaker A 00:59:44
Or are you surviving on iced coffee? Because also I feel that how are.
Speaker B 00:59:48
You coping with stress?
Speaker A 00:59:50
Exactly.
Speaker B 00:59:51
That's another one too.
Speaker A 00:59:52
That is huge.
Speaker B 00:59:53
Right?
Speaker A 00:59:54
Like, what does stress look like in your life and what do you do because of it? Does that look like having a nightcap every single night and then you wake up the next morning feeling puffy and inflamed? Okay. Because if so, that's what we need to talk about, right? It's not about shrinking your body, because when you shrink your body, those other things don't go away.
Speaker B 01:00:12
Right.
Speaker A 01:00:12
This doesn't go away.
Speaker B 01:00:15
Right.
Speaker A 01:00:16
The feelings, the thoughts, they don't go away. Those are things that we need to be talking about. And then again, the add in concept. Are you taking care of yourself with your self care? Can we add in something like lymphatic drainage? Can we add in Abianga massage, which is just self oil massage? What does your tongue look like? Because that can tell us a lot about your health, right? So when we focus on those things, we're focusing on full body health where that can be very hard to talk about and bring up in that plus size health space.
Speaker B 01:00:52
Oh my gosh.
Speaker A 01:00:54
Yeah, it's definitely been difficult, but I'm just going to get louder. That's all that's going to happen. Is it's just going to I feel.
Speaker B 01:01:00
Like that's always a struggle with, like, when you start on social media, because even when I started more so on Instagram, I felt like things are kind of slow, what's going on? But in my head I was like, no, I'm going to keep making this content because there are people who find value in this. And also I remember how I was growing up and not being able to find clothes or dealing with diet clothes or all of this. I know there are people out there who relate to what I'm saying and who can benefit from what I'm saying. So I'm going to keep it coming. That's what it is.
Speaker A 01:01:35
The other thing too is kind of diving deeper into how harmful diet culture actually is, right? So diet culture can actually ruin a woman's metabolism and hormones. I think it was the last statistic I read was 85% of diets actually fail and leading disorders and lead to more weight gain. So this is another really great reason why we need to move away from diet culture and why we need to move into more of that. Like the body neutrality. The more we accept ourselves, the more we can actually eat like we love ourselves.
Speaker B 01:02:16
Right?
Speaker A 01:02:16
And I think the big misconception there is that if you are a plus size, if you are in a fat body, which I don't even like to say fat body, because technically we don't even know how much fat we have because BMI does not tell us that. But just like a plus sized body, the big misconception there is that all we do is eat. And for me, that actually could be further. It's actually one of the things that I am working on personally is eating more because I know for my body, the amount of movement, mental work and physical work I do as a nurse, I'm not eating enough. And that has stemmed highly from diet culture. Me thinking that I was always eating enough, but actually being way under calories. And it can be very dangerous to areas of my body, like my thyroid, my hormone health, my reproductive health. Those places need carbs, they need nutrition, they need protein. And I'm not getting enough of those things. So even though I'm in a plus sized body, I'm in like this starvation mode, which is very not healthy and very scary. So those are things that I'm working on personally for my own health. But a very big misconception there is that all we eat is fast food, McDonald's. We eat like trash, we don't do any kind of exercise. But a lot of times when you're deep in diet culture or you've been deep in an eating disorder, those things are actually not true. And it's actually the opposite.
Speaker B 01:03:48
Working out. All the time. Yeah, you're not eating enough. That not eating enough. Because that's why I think about when I was doing diets when I was younger, I was like I was like, cutting out food groups, basically starving myself to look a certain way. But they sell it as health, and it's not true. It's a lie. Yeah.
Speaker A 01:04:09
In fact, that made me unhealthy. That made me dangerously skinny. I remember being like, when I was deep in my eating disorder, I worked out every single day, sometimes twice a day, I would punish myself for certain meals. It was such a dangerous place. And my body was not functioning properly. My thyroid was a mess, my hormones were a mess. I had gut issues like no other, just some really dangerous I was going down a dangerous road, and it was not good. Right, so that's not health at all. So just kind of like, recognizing those things can be really important.
Speaker B 01:04:55
Well, it can be liberating to recognize those things because you realize that and this is why I talk about this all the time, but this is why I love social media so much, because mainstream media isn't talking about these things enough. And social media has allowed for an alternative perspective and just data presentation to actually talk about these things.
Speaker A 01:05:19
Absolutely. And the more we talk about that, I feel like the louder we get, the more we have more representation, the more mainstream media will kind of pick up on it. But also recognizing, like, that doesn't sell.
Speaker B 01:05:36
Right.
Speaker A 01:05:37
So the minute that we decide that we're not taking on diet culture anymore diet culture is a billion dollar industry.
Speaker B 01:05:46
Oh, yeah, okay, I see what you're saying. In that sense, we're making them no money.
Speaker A 01:05:53
Yeah, exactly. US accepting our bodies is not good for them.
Speaker B 01:05:58
Right.
Speaker A 01:05:59
Because if we accept our bodies, we're not going to buy into the next biggest fat. We're not going to buy into whatever it is they're trying to sell. Like all the things that are disguised as diets. Like, noom, they say, oh, we're not a diet. You get into it. It's a diet. It is absolutely a diet.
Speaker B 01:06:20
Really? Okay, I want to hear this. Tell me about it. Oh, my God, I've seen a new here and there, but okay, tell me what because that's the whole thing. It's not a diet, but okay, tell me about it.
Speaker A 01:06:31
Right, so it's not a diet, quote, unquote, but then when you get into the program, they tell you things that you should and shouldn't eat for your body type or whatever. And it's like they have the green.
Speaker B 01:06:42
Red, and yellow foods, right? Yeah.
Speaker A 01:06:44
That is through and through. Just like with BeachBody, like, they'll say, you're not dieting on the 21 day fix, but you can only have X amount of containers. That is dieting.
Speaker B 01:06:57
Yeah. That restriction, which that restriction always leads to venging. Later restriction leads to rebelling. And that's why yoyo dieting is so dangerous because to your point about the health effects of it, and I have to find this study, I think it's called the Farmington study, but it was basically saying that the constant up and down of your weight that going up and down, that can cause heart problems.
Speaker A 01:07:25
Absolutely. And it is so dangerous and it's not sustainable. It's not sustainable at all.
Speaker B 01:07:33
And I'm at the point where I'm looking to do things that are sustainable, like create habits. And this is beyond weight. Like with anything in my life, with health, with my travel, with business, I am focused on creating sustainable habits because that's going to lead to real change. Her growth, I would say. Real growth. Yeah.
Speaker A 01:07:55
As we know, as we've talked about, health is more than one thing. It's more than just eating and it's more than just your size. It's everything. How do you handle stress and mental health and physical health? Are you moving your body? Does that feel good for you? And recognizing that there's more than one way to move your body?
Speaker B 01:08:13
To move? Yes. You do not have to go to the gym. I did a dance class earlier this year. It was amazing. It was a heels. Okay. Heels dance class. It was so much fun too. When I tell you I was sitting there dancing for 90 minutes and I had so much fun. I'm probably going to do more dance classes after that.
Speaker A 01:08:36
That sounds like right up my alley. I really wish I was in a bigger area where they did those types of things because that would be so freaking fun.
Speaker B 01:08:45
You are welcome to come to Chicago. Great time.
Speaker A 01:08:49
I just serious.
Speaker B 01:08:51
Like, we could go do this dance. I'll be there next week. We could do this dance class together. I've also been trying to take more walks just to get out and get fresh air. There's just something different when you're in your house all the time. I don't know, it's like you're going over and over the same thoughts. You're in this routine, you're in this like whatever your day started out. Sometimes if you haven't worked to like what is the word? Equalize your thoughts or your emotions. Sometimes getting outside can be the best way to do that because you just start to remember there's a whole world out there. There's so much else going on. You get the fresh air that like oxygen, that prime, whatever. I'm like maybe not in the city, but yeah, filet and yon level oxygen.
Speaker A 01:09:58
I love it though. Yeah. We underestimate just how important movement is, but also what it can look like, right? All different types.
Speaker B 01:10:08
Yeah. I love it. All is welcome. Okay, Sarah, we're coming to the end. Sarah, I would love to know who is someone that inspires you?
Speaker A 01:10:23
That's a really good question. Honestly. So you inspire me, actually quite a bit. I don't know if you know this. I feel like, you need to know. Oh, my gosh. You just being you just showing up. So when you reached out to me, I was like, wait, no way. No way. Does she have issues. Like, she's amazing. What? You are just so bubbly and fun in the way you look and the way you show up outside. That's one of the things that I'm working on, is filming more outside. Just like so very confident and beautiful and happy. I think that's so inspiring. Just like you existing. So you are definitely someone that just radio inspiration for me. I'm obsessed with you. Someone else, I would say this person is obviously very high up. It's Lizzo. And I think because her lyrics just do something for me.
Speaker B 01:11:35
They're so positive. They're so positive and encouraging.
Speaker A 01:11:40
The minute I heard her song Coconut Oil and this was about when she wasn't quite famous yet, I found her like right. And then she kind of blew up. But like, her song Coconut Oil, just her first part.
Speaker B 01:11:54
Right.
Speaker A 01:11:55
I remember back in school when I wasn't cool. Should I still ain't cool, but you better make some room for me. I don't think she realized how many women probably related to that, because for me, I was nothing in high school. If I were to see me in high school and then see me now, I'd be like, okay, no way. And then I thought I needed to run and find somebody to love, but all I needed was some coconut oil. That does it for me because I.
Speaker B 01:12:25
Can'T tell you it's a beautiful song.
Speaker A 01:12:28
Yeah. As a plus sized woman, how many of us have looked for love where it wasn't because we wanted love, because we couldn't love ourselves, right? Yes. I think that she is a beautiful person to look up to. The way she shows up in her body, I think is so beautiful. It's a game changer. The way she shows off, the way she does not give AF but anybody.
Speaker B 01:12:57
Yes.
Speaker A 01:12:58
I find that so liberating and I.
Speaker B 01:13:01
Was just going to say that it's liberating. That's literally what I was about to say.
Speaker A 01:13:04
Permission to be myself, please? Like. Thank you, Lisa.
Speaker B 01:13:08
And I think that being ourselves is so important, though, because I have a theory. I got a lot of theories about a lot of things. Look, one of my theories is that, okay, there's so much hate in the world, there's so much unhappiness in the world. And I think it's because people aren't doing what they are meant to do. And so when you see someone like Lizzo showing up, being unapologetically themselves, that gives you space and courage to then be yourself. Right. When you see entrepreneurs going out and building businesses from the ground up, that gives you courage, if that's what you want to do, it gives you courage to do that same thing. So when we can start living in truth, when we can start being ourselves. That is when I think that joy and that happiness really comes absolutely.
Speaker A 01:13:57
It's always coming from within. And that's one of the most important things to remember, is that you're never going to get happiness from a thing or a person. It has to be within, and when it's within, it can radiate and you can see it.
Speaker B 01:14:13
Right.
Speaker B 01:14:14
I'm so glad that you said, Sarah, that you were like, when I reached out to you were so surprised because it's one of the things I've been trying to work on, because I don't want my followers to think I have no issues. Right?
Speaker A 01:14:28
Yeah.
Speaker B 01:14:28
That's why I started this podcast. It's literally why I started the podcast, though, because I was like, listen, I want to talk to you guys about all of these things, but I'm also trying to grow and reach more people on social media, and I get 715 seconds a minute maybe to do that. And so this is like, my way of being able to do that. Finally. It's like, now I can talk about all these things, talk about what I've gone through and what I am going through. So I'm so glad that you brought that up.
Speaker A 01:14:58
Yeah, so I find the same on my Instagram and my podcast as well. It's my time to actually be able to for the people that want to hear.
Speaker B 01:15:09
Right.
Speaker A 01:15:09
Because if you have a podcast listener, that is so beautiful, because that is somebody who wants to hear your voice, they want to hear you talk. And I think that is so special. Like, oh, my gosh, that is very intimate, someone hearing you speak and logging on to hear that. I think that's amazing. So I'm so happy that you started this and you're going to get to share your journey. I'm so here for it exciting. You guys are going to love it.
Speaker B 01:15:42
I hope you guys find so much joy and value. That's what I really want. Well, yeah. Okay, so you brought up your podcast. Are there any projects or other businesses that you're working on?
Speaker A 01:15:54
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I'm always doing something, girl.
Speaker B 01:16:00
I love it.
Speaker A 01:16:02
So I recently launched a seven week Fresh Start, and it was all about an individualized approach to health and wellness for the body that you're in. And it was really beautiful because it goes over topics like Lymphatic, Drainage, tapping for your Nervous System, stress Relief, Digestion, and it's definitely something that I will be running again. But you get an individualized one on one session with me first, where we go over, like, a recommendation plan for you and your wellness goals. And then the classes are the following week. So it's definitely something that I think I'll be launching again virtually. So definitely be on the lookout for that. And then coming up, I'm doing something called a Villain Mastermind. So it's like welcoming in.
Speaker B 01:16:56
I've been saying this is my villain year. Yes. Okay. No, keep going, okay, I'm going to join this villain mastermind. Tell me about it.
Speaker A 01:17:04
Mastermind. And basically what this is, it's for the women who have always been like, people pleasers, struggled with boundaries, struggled with loving themselves. So I think that the word villain, especially for women that are like, people pleasers, can kind of be like, oh, my God. What? Really?
Speaker B 01:17:27
I mean, if it's the Emma Stone and Cruella type villain, I'm so glad she played that role. Just wait.
Speaker A 01:17:37
Just wait until launch. It's going to be incredible. It's going to be a place for you to come as you are, but also take life by the reins and finally come out on top for once in your life. Right. The villain era is all about putting you first. You come first. It's all about you.
Speaker B 01:18:00
Right.
Speaker A 01:18:00
And learning how to step into that without feeling like you're being selfish. Relieving some of that people pleaser pressure learning how to create boundaries that are simply no.
Speaker B 01:18:12
Right?
Speaker B 01:18:12
Yeah. Because no is a complete no explanation needed. No is a complete thank you. No is a complete sentence.
Speaker A 01:18:20
And really, the villain era is all about putting yourself first, but also not like losing yourself.
Speaker B 01:18:28
Right.
Speaker A 01:18:28
So villain era can feel like a villain era, but honestly, when you are a soft girl, when you are a people pleaser, when everybody else comes before your needs, it feels like a villain era. But really, it's just understanding that you are actually creating boundaries for once in your life and letting go of these people pleaser tendencies and loving yourself and putting yourself first. Something that men have no problem doing but us as women really struggle to do, right? Yeah. And then my podcast is back. It's got us on the rise. And I'm always over on TikTok and instagram. I have all these ideas and they just kind of come up, so I just run with them. And if it's good, it's good.
Speaker B 01:19:17
So tell me about your podcast, though. What's the name of it?
Speaker A 01:19:20
Yes. So my podcast is Goddess on the Rise. I have had this podcast for like, three years now. It came from a school project, and then it just turned into something that was amazing. I've had a lot of different topics I've talked about on there. It's really interesting because I've had it for so long. So you can kind of notice me. In the beginning, I was a little bit still in diet culture. It still had its claws in me, and then I just kind of swayed from that. So it's really a transformational podcast.
Speaker B 01:19:55
Yeah. I was like, you can see your progression, though. You can see your journey.
Speaker A 01:19:59
A journey for sure.
Speaker B 01:20:00
Thought process, like, getting through everything. I love that.
Speaker A 01:20:02
Yeah. So it's really just women who are on their own, like, health and wellness, journey and learning how to love themselves. It's very much so like a lifestyle podcast. So it's kind of like me talking to my closest girlfriend. Basically, that is who I'm talking to. Got it.
Speaker B 01:20:24
Yes.
Speaker A 01:20:25
It is really fun. I am just, like, very authentic, real and raw on my podcast. Like, there's no filter, no topic off limits. It is the most unfiltered raw version of me that I get to be on that because I know the people that are tuning in are the people that really want to hear me. So I'm able to be 100% myself without any kind of filter or worry about who it is that I'm going to be talking to.
Speaker B 01:20:54
Right.
Speaker A 01:20:54
Because I know if you're coming to it, you're there for a reason.
Speaker B 01:20:59
God is on the rise. You guys heard it. Definitely. Go. Subscribe to Sirius Podcast. We're getting towards the end of our episode and there's a few questions I want to ask you. So something I say often is accepting bigger bodies is good for all bodies. What does this phrase mean to you?
Speaker A 01:21:19
I love that phrase. I feel like it's got so many different meanings. Honestly, one thing that comes to mind is that when we accept bigger bodies and it's good for all bodies. Oh, my God, that's so beautiful. I think that when we do this, we can do more good rather than harm.
Speaker B 01:21:40
Right.
Speaker A 01:21:41
So I feel like we talked a lot about that in this episode. Leaving our judgments aside, kind of working through that, that's a lot of inner work. And when we do that, it can be good for everybody.
Speaker B 01:21:53
Right.
Speaker A 01:21:54
Because then we are doing that in our work to be less harmful. We're accepting more. We're able to see more people release the judgment.
Speaker B 01:22:03
Right?
Speaker B 01:22:04
I'm snapping.
Speaker A 01:22:05
I'm like, yes, it's so good. It's so hard work. So that can be good for everybody, right. It's just that accepting and seeing them for who they are and just accepting what they are.
Speaker B 01:22:21
Yeah. Okay. What is one final thought you want to leave with our listeners?
Speaker A 01:22:30
I just think that a reminder would be good. A reminder that who you are in this moment is perfect. There is nothing about you that needs to change. You're beautiful. You are who you are for a reason. And the more that you lean into that and accept that, the more peace you will have in your life, the more safety you will have in your body. And just leaning into that, leaning into that safety, leaning into that love, that peace, there's so much healing that can come from that. And just know that you know what is best for you. Not the Instagram influencer, not me, not your doctor, even. Not to go against doctor's advice, but you know what is best.
Speaker B 01:23:24
Sometimes you got to push back, though. You do.
Speaker A 01:23:26
Absolutely. But you know what is best for you and to trust and believe in that.
Speaker B 01:23:32
Amen. Sarah, where can our listeners go to learn more about you?
Speaker A 01:23:36
You can follow me on the Instagram. So my name is pretty much everything across the board. So I'm on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and it's all the same. Sarah Brooke Berg I have a lot of fun over on TikTok. I am obsessed with TikTok. It's a problem.
Speaker B 01:23:54
It's my favorite too. No, actually unique. It breeds authenticity, though. That's why I love TikTok.
Speaker A 01:24:02
Yes, I can just be myself over there and I just really don't care. You can also find my website@www.sarabruckberg.com. I actually have a lot of free stuff on there, lots of free downloads. I have a couple of courses on there and that's where you can also book me one on one. And you're more than welcome to always message me on Instagram. My DMs are open for you, so if you ever need anything, for the most part, I always have one on one space available. I do lots of like, coaching and healing around self love, body image, people using boundaries, helping you step into your villain era, all those good things. So, yeah, that is where I'm at.
Speaker B 01:24:47
And you guys, I will be sure to put everything down in the show. Note we hope you enjoyed today's episode. Please be sure to subscribe to Big GIrl Besties podcast wherever you get your podcast. And to follow us on social media at Big GIrl Besties. To get encouragement and stay up to date on all things BGB. You can also join our email list by visiting biggerlbesties.com and subscribing. Details are in the Show notes below. That's it, lovelies. Go forth and be free. You.